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By Marie Southard Ospina. Art by Nicola Grimshaw-Mitchell. He was a year older than me, with beautiful eyes and a caring nature. He was also respectful, letting me govern the pace of our romantic exploration without any pressure whatsoever.
He was, in retrospect, a pretty perfect first boyfriend. Five or six months into things, however, a friend asked me if I thought he might have a fat fetish.
I was sheltered, and wholly unfamiliar with the nuanced and diverse fetish communities out there. After all, she was only echoing everything I had already been taught. My body was a problem — an unsightly thing — so anyone who showed any interest in me must also be a problem. I broke up with my boyfriend, offering him some bullshit reason about his weed smoking and disinterest in academia. I had already been taught my body was a problem — an unsightly thing — so anyone who showed any interest in me must also be a problem.
For years thereafter, as I got fatter and fatter, I routinely settled for partners of all genders who were just sort of kind of okay with the way I looked. I settled for people who obviously felt like they were settling by being with me. I settled for hook-ups who showed blatant disgust upon seeing my back boobs, who avoided touching the softest areas of my body, or physically pulled my shirt down to keep my stomach covered. Things began changing in my life inwhen I met my long-term partner and, simultaneously, discovered work surrounding body positivity.
I started looking at my figure, rather than avoiding my reflection in the mirror. I began experimenting with fashion. I began liking my fat, or perhaps, giving myself permission to like it. Exploring fat fetishism was scary at first. There are very few depictions in popular culture, and those that do exist unfortunately only reiterate the notions that all fat fetishists are A. In the film Feedfor example, we are presented with a man who feeds women to death. He feeds them and fucks them and makes predictions for when they will die. These moments paint fat fetishists as sexual abusers.
I would never claim that there is no manipulation in this world. There are, undoubtedly, people who seek only to use a fat person for their own sexual gratification, just as there are people who seek only to use thin partners for their own sexual gratification. There are fat admirers FAs who simply gravitate towards bigger people in the way so many folks seem to gravitate towards thin ones. I no longer feared that my body would confuse or repel prospective partners, I allowed myself to have fun in brand new ways, and I discovered the things I truly want, both in the bedroom and outside of it.
In allthere are countless individuals having gloriously affirming experiences. My life changed completely when I ed fat fetish and dating sites online. Fat kink realized pretty quickly into creating profiles on sites like Fantasy Feeder and Feabie fat kink there would always be invasive people, or people sending D2F texts at 1 a.
Much like on Tinder. But, I also realized pretty quickly that there were endless fat-positive humans interested only in uplifting one another, in making friends, starting long-term relationships, or hooking up with those who share their values and their preferences. Most crucially, there were myriad brilliant, autonomous women reclaiming their fat bodies in the face of so much toxic rhetoric telling them they should hide instead. They were unafraid of jiggling their bellies or grabbing their fat love handles or taking selfies of their double chins or, simply, demanding respect.
Their influence irrevocably made me fat kink stronger person. Marie Southard Ospina is a Colombian-American writer, editor, plus-size fashion blogger, and digital content creator. Her work often explores body image, fat acceptance, parenthood, pop culture, and sexuality.
She is partial to dark comedies, cream cheese, and glitter. Legacy and mainstream media has failed women, trans and nonbinary people. They assumed our straightness, our thinness, our frigidity and our fragility for far too long.
They preyed on our insecurities in order to market products to us, and told us stories from one perspective, over and over again.
But Salty isn't legacy media. But this comes at a price. As Salty takes off, we are faced with increasing overhe costs. We are scrappy as hell, mostly working unpaid and need just 7, members to survive and thrive.
Invest in media that matters. We need your help. Related stories. Search for:.Fat kink
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How might female butterflies gain an advantage? How about having the ability to taste through their feet